how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
