I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize