she looked like the before picture.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
