i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
