just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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