WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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