DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
