One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I am naked and annoyed.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
