that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
