i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
