I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
