If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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