please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
