Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Randomize
