hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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