Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
