I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm experimenting with sincerity
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
