And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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