I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
