does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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