We won't sleep together?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
