I think i peed on brittanys purse
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
