The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
