woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
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