You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
