One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
