I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
