Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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