So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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