You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
