and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize