Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
