I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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