it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
