at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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