If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
