I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
