I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
