I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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