HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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