what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
