Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
