put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
