so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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