I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
