I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize