Where are you?
In a non slutty way
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
