Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
