I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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