i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
