i will never coherently bang her
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize