I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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