You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I love you.
Bad choice
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
