Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
