This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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