Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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