hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
