Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
